So, apparently you don’t have to go all the way to Orlando, Florida to be immersed in a marvelous fantasy world filled with make believe characters and giant turkey legs.
Hidden over a modest thirty acres of land in Kenosha, Wisconsin lies what I can only imagine to be the worlds largest Renaissance Fair (and if it’s not, I’ll take your word for it- no need to ship me any tickets…really).
With the exception of one Sesame Street character, a random slutty Halloween nurse and a pack of what looked to be lost Mortal Combat characters on their way to Comic Con, the ensembles were pretty brilliant.
Far and away the most bittersweet moment for me was when I discovered my calling. Well, I stumbled upon the talent that had escaped me all these years, officially securing the fact that I had missed my calling: archery.
Move aside Legolas, the Queen of the Arrows has arrived! Okay, so perhaps too soon to be calling out this long-haired cupid of death, but seriously, I rocked it.
Manned with five arrows, a row of taunting black targets painted on blocks of straw and a blur of a 15-second tutorial, I assumed the position for battle.
Two flew just right and left of a target, the third hit the flesh of it, but slightly off center, the fourth just outside my next target and the fifth, after a generous pause for dramatic timing before releasing my weapon, struck the beast in the heart.
I felt like Robin Hood- from the classic version. You know, the “Men in Tights” one. If you even try to convince me that there exists one more classic than this, I shan’t be interested in hearing such nonsense.
As I strutted away past my competitors, lingering long enough to give a frustrated twelve-year old boy dressed as a squire an extra haughty toss of my hair, I felt an exhilarating flush of purpose.
I felt that in another life, I was a champion archer.
And when I went to share this newly unearthed talent with my mother, she looked less than impressed and said, “Oh, that’s nice. Did you know in high school I was so good in class that the archery team approached me and asked me to join them?”
Flabbergasted at this news, as my mom chooses not to participate in sports, activities, and most all “things” in general, I stood gaping in new found admiration for her.
The image of what life would have been like with a mom who was a stud archer quickly dissolved as she explained that she had of course declined, and immediately reversed the incredulous stare back at me as if I should have ever assumed otherwise.
Seriously though, can you imagine?
Mother and daughter archers dressed in matching (but mismatching enough so it wasn’t uncool) outifits. We would own the fiercest collection of ancient and modern bows – the 007’s of the Middle-Modern Ages. We’d be undercover spies for the military helping save the world from the evil …umm..lancing villains that would eventually turn to the good side because they wouldn’t be able to resist our friendly medieval accents (which would really be British accents because they all come out of my mouth sounding that way anyways). We’d fly all over the world on our quests, stopping occasionally to meet up with Zelda (who we’d call Big Daddy Z) for a coffee….
Okay, well….maybe I got a little carried away.
But I definitely missed out on blossoming that little archer within me.
I did, however, feel a similar sense of accomplishment from the tremendous accolades I received after making these bombshell babies. Oatmeal-laced and full of tender chew, these enchanting bites are drizzled with spice and a subtle zing of bourbon that marries everything together.
Tell your brave knight to park his noble steed as he won’t be able to fight anything but the stairs up to bed after downing the entire batch of these drizzled damsels.
Take a royal role call.
Bathe thyself in sweet vanilla.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Honestly, as simple as thou see…eth?
Fare-thee-well my graces.
Cinnamon, meet the fair bourbon.
Test thy patience.
Let us feast!
Chewy Oatmeal Cookies with Bourbon Cinnamon Glaze
King of the male taste test, this soft and oat-packed cinnamon cookie is as amazing to eat as it is to drool over. Low on flour and high on oatmeal to patch them together, they possess clusters of tender raisins that take their time soaking up delicious vanilla before diving into the batter. Topped with a complimentary, sweet bourbon cinnamon glaze, harmony has never tasted this scrumptious.
- 1 1/2 sticks (12 T) unsalted butter, softened just to the point of being able to mix it
- 1/4 + 2 T white sugar
- 1/4 + 2 T brown sugar
- 1 egg
- 1/2 tsp vanilla
- 1/2 C +2 T flour
- 1/2 tsp baking soda
- 1/4 tsp baking powder
- 1/2 tsp cinnamon
- 1/4 tsp fine sea salt
- 1 1/4 C rolled oats
- 1 C raisins
- 1 tsp vanilla
Bourbon Cinnamon Glaze
- 1 tsp bourbon
- 1/8 tsp cinnamon
- 1/8 tsp vanilla
- 1 small pinch fine sea salt
- 2 C powdered sugar
- whole milk as needed (about 2-3 T)
- Mix the raisins with the 1 tsp of vanilla and mix to coat completely. Set aside for 10 minutes before starting step 2. Preheat oven to 350F and line a cookie sheet with a silpat mat.
- Cream butter with sugars for one minute until fully combined and slightly fluffy.
- Add the egg and vanilla and mix. Next the cinnamon and stir until combined.
- Pour in the flour, soda, powder and salt at once. Mix just until it comes together.
- Add oats and stir together with a wooden spoon and then finally the raisins and mix the same.
- Place the cookie batter in its bowl into the fridge for 10 minutes then remove and scoop cookies onto prepared pan in the size of 1/4 C each. Gently press on the centers slightly so they have a little bit of a flattened top.
- Bake in preheated oven 10-12 minutes until edges are a deep brown, but centers are light in color. Do not bake until the entire cookie is dark. As the cookies cool, they will become chewy and will not be underdone. Allow cookies to cool slightly on baking pan before trying to move to a cooling rack.
- While cookies cool, whisk together the bourbon, cinnamon, salt and vanilla. Add powdered sugar and mix. Slowly add milk to get a glaze consistency (not too thin and not too thick).
- When cookies are cooled, drizzle glaze over each cookie. Allow to harden and then enjoy!