Today I got in an argument at work with “the silent assassin.” You know who I mean. That person who feels invincible behind the protection of their email words but their expressive boldness suddenly becomes a meek speechlessness when confronted in person. I actually couldn’t physically locate my electronic nemesis all day to attempt to nip the problem in the bud, but she mysteriously continued to email from her top secret time wasting lab where she concocts the most confusing and loaded emails ever seen. If interpreting the real meaning behind her emails is anything like watching my boyfriend try to decode what I really meant when I complimented his brother on having acquired such a beautiful tolerance of a variety of personalities after I met his fiance, then I hope you now understand my utter confusion. I prefer to be the one distributing the innuendoes, not receiving them.
In my experience, these “emailers” are often times BFF’s with the CC field. They copy anyone and everyone who may be able to jump on their boisterous bandwagon, often times at the expense of their own professional credibility as well as their general maturity ranking. To further laugh in the face of sanity, the silent assassins are usually the eldest of the workers in the office, defying all laws of wise aging.
Eventually, I find no response to be the best course of action to the escalating drama if a “Reply to All” stating that you are “eager to resolve this issue ASAP so please come meet in person to discuss” doesn’t work. But the top choice is to just “Reply to All” with a brilliant resolution, making sure you’ve discarded her name off the recipient list altogether. And then do ten minutes of office yoga to clean your chi of any crazy assassin chi that may have transported electronically.
I guess it is the little joys at work that get me through the day since counting the number of brain cells I lose on her adult tantrums don’t quite fulfill that need for accomplishment.
So, next time you deal with a “silent assassin,” or “sass,” be sure to leave all common forms of sense, problem solving and efficiency at home. Leave those big girl pants in your closet and prepare your tutu for battle.
Or you could just drop the first “s” in her nickname “sass” like I did and you’ll see how I tried to justify to my manager why I called her an a##. Yeah, he wasn’t too sold on my story either.
In honor of such sour tartlettes, I thought only appropriate to work through my day by working through my kitchen. With a lime tart.
Sour Puss Lime Tart
This tart is a more slender, almost dare I say- elegant, version of a key lime pie. But easy as can be. I strongly recommend this for a quick and impressive dessert for a gaggle of friends and family. I was inspired by Gourmet’s different recipes for key lime pies, but combined them all and added my own flavor (pronounced flay-va). Serve it up to anyone you feel is worthy of a sour puss award in your world…and if it was you today, go on and own it! Serve yourself an extra big slice of sour puss pie. Happy eating!
Crust creation. Crumb it up. Add some tropical flair to the cookie party with some white flakey coconut.
Make this delicious sand come alive with a buttery ocean.
Delicate fingers to do the pressing. Prepare some up the side in anticipation of a creamy filling.
Take a moment to admire your pie crust pottery.
Organize the cream team.
Wake up that mellow filling with zesty lime attitude. Pour in its shell home.
Part with your baby for just a few moments…don’t worry, it will come back.
Let it cool. Then cool longer.
Sour Puss Lime Tart
- 1 C vanilla wafer cookie crumbs
- 1/4 C unsweetened flaked coconut
- 5 T. salted butter, melted
- 2 T. granulated sugar
- 4 egg yolks
- 1 can sweetened condensed milk (14 oz.)
- 1/2 C fresh squeezed lime juice (about 10 limes)
- 1 tsp. grated lime zest
- Optional Toppings: lightly sweetened whipped cream, toasted coconut
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease 9-in springform pan with butter. Don’t forget the sides.
- Place vanilla cookies in a food processor and blend enough to fill a cup with crumbs. Add coconut and blend a few seconds.
- Mix the crumb mixture in a bowl with the melted butter and white sugar. Use a fork to ensure it is completely combined.
- Press the crumb mixture into the pan and up about an inch on the sides. It may seem like there’s not enough but by making sure the bottom is even and thin, there will be plenty.
- Bake in oven for 10 minutes. Allow to cool slightly while you prepare the rest.
- Mix the egg yolks and condensed milk in a bowl until all one color. Add the zest and lime juice and stir until it all comes together.
- Pour into cooled crust and bake 14 minutes in oven.
- Allow to cool to room temperature and then place in refrigerator over night.
- Add whatever toppings you desire and serve from the fridge. Mmmmm.
Some thoughts to help you along your lime quest:
– The crust pressing just requires patience. Don’t rush and take the time to make sure the bottom is even. The filling just covers the bottom so don’t put the crust up too high on the sides. You won’t need it.
– I don’t remove the side of the pan until the following day and I’m preparing for service. It slides right off. And you don’t even need a special knife to slice through it. A simple sharp, un-ridged knife works perfectly.
Go for it!