Yesterday something horrifically surreal occurred.
One moment I was weighed down by frustration and boredom as I surfed the Denver job market and the next I was weighed down by complete and total discomfort as my Aunt carefully deconstructed a sex joke into terms I could understand.
I cannot recall which one was worse.
Although, to be honest, the joke wasn’t funny. Or I just didn’t get it. Something about a loaf of Italian bread making a man good at sex?
She was telling the joke and then her story abruptly ended and I could sense the palpable anticipation on her end awaiting an explosion of gratifying laughter. But I offered nothing but silence. And of course, the embarrassment and confusion over not arriving at the punch line silenced the horror of a possibility that my Aunt may acutally answer the question I thoughtlessly blurted out, “Wait, is that it? I don’t get it…”
So she went on to explain it great detail, and it was at the exact moment when the words “hard” and “loaf” were in verbal juxtaposition that I cringed, turned bright red on the opposing end of the receiver and awkwardly informed her I would just google it in exchange for her promise to make the explanation stop. The worst part was that she volunteers at a senior center and said the old ladies thought it was a hoot!
Even they got it.
Well, this is either a sign that I need to brush up on this generation’s dirty jokes or I really haven’t been to a good Italian bakery in a long time. Much like acting, perhaps experience in the setting where the story takes place is necessary. Then again, should all this research be required to understand the essence of a joke, blame should be tolled to the joker, not the jokee.
While I look into this obviously high IQ-required funny, I have made something to stir your…umm…appetite: Roasted Cherries for Ice Cream.
Well, the “for ice cream” part is not necessarily necessary.
You could surely eat it plain.
Or maybe it could be an ingredient in a very decadent, very delicious cherry cake?
Or maybe with some sort of meat? I haven’t had meat in a few years, but something is telling me these cherries are rebellious when it comes to culinary possibilities.
Not overly sweet, but perfectly balanced with balsamic vinegar and honey while allowing cherry power to shine through.
Easy. Oozing downwards atop a dark chocolate chip, dark chocolate gelato mound.
Because these cherries are rather upscale. You know, classy. And must be treated as such. It’s as if they belong served at night in an adult lounge where hip foodie couples go for sharing some end of the night intimacy over a bowl of sexy balsamic glazed cherries with dark chocolate gelato.
…Only that hip couple could be you and your cat.
And that adult lounge could be your boudoir.
And late night intimacy could be Mr. Snuggles curling up against your purple and blue flannel pants.
You see, it’s all relative.
So use some of those gorgeous summer cherries with this easy and delicious recipe and either doll it up to share with a date or just stay in with Mr. Snuggles, dark chocolate gelato and that wise explainer of all
good confusing jokes: Google.
Roasted Cherries for Ice Cream
A subtle sweetness from honey and ruby cherries gets pleasantly matched by caramelized vinegar in this topping of a treat. Simple, sexy and poised for pairing with deep chocolate flavors, these adult cherries are perfect for any summer night.
Recipe from Heather’s Dish
4 C pitted cherries
2 T honey
2 T balsamic vinegar
1 T vegetable oil
Whisk together the honey, vinegar and oil. Pour over cherries in a large bowl and toss to coat. Line an 8×8 baking dish or pan with aluminum foil. Pour cherries and any remaining sauce into the dish. Bake 25 -30 minutes at 450F until cherries are juicy and tender. Stir two times during that bake time and if the sauce is browning too much, remove it sooner. The sauce will caramelize so you want to be sure it doesn’t burn in one place. Cool slightly and enjoy in any way you find pleasing.